Bullet Train: More Like Bullet 'Trainwreck' (But the Good Kind?)

Okay, so I finally hopped aboard the 'Bullet Train' hype train (sorry, couldn't resist), and whew, what a ride. First off, let's establish some ground rules: If you go in expecting Shakespeare, you're gonna be disappointed. This is pure, unadulterated, over-the-top action comedy. Like, 'John Wick' meets 'Snatch' with a dash of 'Looney Tunes' thrown in. And honestly? I kinda loved it. Brad Pitt as Ladybug is genuinely hilarious. He nails that 'I'm trying to be Zen but everything is going hilariously wrong' vibe perfectly. And Brian Tyree Henry and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Tangerine and Lemon? The Thomas the Tank Engine obsession alone had me cackling. The fight choreography is insane, the plot is ridiculously convoluted (but in a fun way), and there are cameos that you won't see coming (I literally yelped when Channing Tatum popped up). Okay, maybe it's not gonna win any Oscars, and yeah, the whole thing is pretty silly, but sometimes you just need a movie that's pure, chaotic fun. Also the briefcase reveal was a bit weak... I think they could have done more there. Some people might find it too violent or too absurd, and I totally get that. It's definitely not for everyone. But if you're looking for something to turn your brain off and just enjoy the ride, I'd say grab a ticket. Just don't expect any deep life lessons or profound character development... unless you count learning that maybe Thomas the Tank Engine has a valid interpretation in modern society lol. Overall, I'd say it's a solid 7/10. Highly entertaining but not exactly groundbreaking cinema. Definitely worth watching with friends and ordering takeout, though! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go rewatch the Tangerine and Lemon scenes because those two are a cinematic treasure. Oh and BTW David Leitch directed this! I remembered after I started writing.