Guardians 3: Okay, I Actually Cried (A Little)

Alright, alright, so I just finished Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (yeah, I'm late to the party, sue me, I was busy watching Turkish rip-offs of Star Wars) and...wow. I wasn't expecting to get hit so hard in the feels. Like, seriously, I thought I was immune to superhero movie emotions after all these years but, damn, Rocket's backstory? Brutal. I mean, I knew it was gonna be sad going in, but seeing Lylla, Teefs, and Floor...that whole High Evolutionary's lab sequences... straight up heartbreaking. Props to James Gunn (I think he directed it? Pretty sure...) for really making you care about some genetically modified animals. I almost chucked my popcorn at the screen when the High Evolutionary was doing his whole 'perfecting the universe' monologue. What a psycho! Star-Lord still whining about Gamora, though. Dude, get over it! I get it, loss is hard, but you're literally traveling the galaxy with talking raccoons and tree people. Maybe find a new hobby, or a new alien girlfriend? Drax was hilarious as usual, although his whole 'Dad' thing felt a little forced this time around. Nebula continues to be the coolest Guardian, change my mind. I liked how they gave Mantis more to do, too, finally not just the 'emotional sponge' of the group. But seriously, the animal torture? My chihuahua was staring at me the entire time from the corner of the couch, felt like he was judging me for watching it. The action was pretty good, I guess. I mean, it's a Guardians movie, you expect explosions and cool space battles. The whole 'orgocrop' planet was visually interesting, and I gotta give it to them, the soundtrack was on point. Still waiting for a proper Zune sequel. Groot's transformation into the, like, giant walking forest was pretty epic. Not sure how I feel about all the emotional send-offs, though. Seemed like everyone was getting a goodbye moment. Overall, I'd give it a solid 7.5/10. Maybe higher if I didn't need to take a break every 20 minutes to pet the chihuahua. Worth a watch, just be prepared to grab some tissues. And maybe hide your pets during the flashback scenes. Seriously disturbing.