The Nun II: More Like The Nun…Again (Zzzz)

Okay, fine, I saw The Nun II. Look, sometimes I cave, alright? The horror crowd was all hyped up, saying it was 'scarier' and 'better than the first'. People need to recalibrate their fear sensors, seriously. Remember the first Nun? Jump scares galore, zero actual substance. This one? More of the same, just swap out Romania for France and add a dash of… relic hunting? Because that's what horror needed, apparently. Sister Irene is back, still looking perpetually worried. And of course, Valak is back because you can't kill off a demon nun apparently. The whole thing felt like a paint-by-numbers sequel. Predictable jump scares, over-reliance on loud noises, and a plot thinner than communion wine. The ending? Don't even get me started. Something about a family connection and…the power of love or some garbage? Honestly, I was too busy fighting the urge to check my phone to really pay attention. There was ONE sequence in the school that had a tiny bit of atmosphere, with the newspaper clippings forming a sort of demonic face... I'll give it that. But even that was ruined by, guess what? Another jump scare! Ugh. I feel like I could write better horror, and I'm a cynical internet troll, not a screenwriter. Look, if you're into cheap thrills and don't mind your brain turning to mush, go for it. But if you're expecting something genuinely scary or, dare I say, original, save your money. This is just another forgettable entry in the Conjuring-verse that'll be streaming on some platform you already forgot you subscribed to in about a month. And frankly, I'm okay with forgetting this one.