"Once Upon a Time in America" wrecked me... in the best way?

Okay, wow. I just finished watching "Once Upon a Time in America," and I'm... a mess. A beautiful, cinematic mess. I knew going in it was supposed to be heavy, but good lord. I'm not usually one for gangster flicks, but the way this movie just lingers on everything? The feeling of loss, the regret, the betrayal... it got to me. Like, really got to me. Deborah's performance of "Amapola" haunted me, especially knowing the context of Noodles and Deborah. Then the ending scene at the opium den with the smile.... I don't know HOW to feel. I want to say it was all a dream in the den, a twisted way for him to cope but... I'm conflicted. And honestly? That's what makes it so good, I think? I can't stop thinking about Noodles, and the choices he made, and the sheer weight of his past crashing down on him after all those years. I had to pause it a few times because it's long, like REALLY long. But honestly, I sort of appreciated that? It gave the whole thing this dreamlike quality, letting you just sink into the atmosphere. I dunno, man, I just feel like I need to go lie down and process everything. But it's definitely one I'll be thinking about for a long time. Did anyone else feel this way? Tell me EVERYTHING!