Conan the Destroyer: Lacking a little something, but still a fun ride
Okay, so I just rewatched "Conan the Destroyer" (1984) and I gotta say, it's...fine. Definitely not as good as the first one, and the plot itself is pretty cookie-cutter fantasy quest stuff. Evil Queen Taramis needs Conan to grab the Horn of Dagoth, blah blah blah. But y'know what? I still enjoy it. For all its flaws, it's got that classic 80s fantasy cheese that I can't help but love. A big part of that is the cast. Grace Jones as Zula is absolutely badass. Every time she kicks someone's ass (which is often!), it's just pure, unadulterated joy. And Mako is always great as the wizard Akiro. Wilt Chamberlain is pretty good too, even if the giant-guy-who's-actually-kinda-gentle trope is a bit overdone. I think what this movie lacks is the gravitas of the original. It feels lighter, more 'family friendly' almost, and honestly, that kinda hurts it. The first Conan had a real sense of brutality and weight to it (for all it's faults of course!). This one just feels…safer? On the world-building front, I'm a little torn. The sets are decent, I liked some of the locations (the castle with the mirrored halls was cool, even if it was a blatant special effects showoff piece). But overall, it doesn't feel as authentic as the Hyborian Age I imagined while reading the books. There's something missing in the overall atmosphere. Maybe it's the lack of those brooding landscapes? Maybe its the relative lack of blood and gore. So yeah, not perfect by ANY means. It's flawed, cheesy, and definitely a step down from "Conan the Barbarian". But I still smile when I watch it; and those are the movies I'll always have a soft spot for. Anyone else feel the same? Or am I alone on this one?
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