Trancers: Criminally Underrated or Just Plain Criminal?

Okay, so I finally got around to watching "Trancers" (1984), something I've been putting off for, like, ever. Everyone I know who's seen it raves like it's the second coming of Christ on VHS. Me? I'm not so sure. Don't get me wrong, the whole time-traveling cop hunting zombie-things in 80s LA premise is delightfully bonkers, and Tim Thomerson as Jack Deth? Yeah, he's got that gruff charm. But honestly, I think nostalgia's doing most of the heavy lifting here. The "Trancers" themselves are pretty lame, let's be real. They just kinda... shuffle around. The old lady in the diner scene? Okay, that had a little bite (pun intended!), but overall, uninspired. And Whistler, the ultimate baddie? He's just… there. Robert Fraker had zero charisma. The whole 'injecting yourself with weird stuff' schtick just didn't land. Plus, the 'trancing' process looks like someone took a nap in front of a lava lamp. Here's where my unpopular opinion kicks in: I find it painfully slow. It takes forever to actually get going. And the future they're supposedly from? It looks like the set of a low-budget sci-fi channel pilot that got cancelled after two episodes. Look, I appreciate the effort, I really do. Helen Hunt is great as Lena, and the whole 'ancestor' thing is a clever plot device. But I left feeling like I'd just eaten a flavorless microwave dinner. Maybe it's supposed to be cheesy, and I'm missing the point? IDK. So yeah, I said it. "Trancers" is... fine. It has its moments. If you grew up with it, I get the love. But for a newbie like me, coming in cold? It's a solid meh with a side of 'I've seen worse.' Give it a watch if you're bored, but don't expect to be blown away. And PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who cringed when Jack Deth said "future noir." Ugh. That line aged worse than week-old sushi.