Once Bitten: Lauren Hutton, Jim Carrey, and Peak 80s Absurdity

Alright, so I finally subjected myself to "Once Bitten" (1985). I knew going in it was supposed to be a comedy, but I wasn't prepared for that. Jim Carrey's got the manic energy turned up to eleven, even this early in his career. He's playing Mark Kendall, a high schooler super desperate to lose his virginity, which, fine, relatable to a certain degree. But the Countess (Lauren Hutton looking absolutely incredible, by the way) turning him into a vampire because she needs a virgin before Halloween just…escalates. Quickly. The whole plot's paper-thin of course, but it’s the sheer, unadulterated 80s-ness that really carries it. The scene where Mark first realizes he's craving blood is comedy gold. He's at a burger joint, surrounded by juicy patties, and he's just salivating like a cartoon wolf. The way they visually represent his hunger is over-the-top in the best way possible, with these close-ups of raw meat practically throbbing. I also appreciate the commitment to bad vampire puns. They're groan-worthy, but in a charmingly self-aware way. Megan Mullally shows up! I didn't even realize! She's blink-and-you'll-miss-her brief, playing a hooker who has a run-in with Jim Carrey and his friends. This movie, man, is just a who's who of recognizable faces in the making. Honestly, it’s not a good movie, per se. The plot holes are massive, the acting is uneven (Carrey’s great, Hutton’s iconic, but some of the supporting cast is...lacking), and the whole thing feels ridiculously dated. But it's also undeniably entertaining. It’s a time capsule of 80s teen comedies, complete with the questionable fashion choices and synth-heavy soundtrack. In some ways it feels like a less polished version of the original Fright Night (1985), but the sillier and more tongue-in-cheek tone keeps it from being truly scary. So, yeah, "Once Bitten." If you're looking for high art, steer clear. But if you're in the mood for some silly, cheesy, 80s vampire shenanigans, and you're okay with leaving your brain at the door, you might just find yourself enjoying it, as I did. It'll certainly never leave you bored.