Okay, "The Mission" Was NOT the Rom-Com I Expected...

So, I went into "The Mission" (1986) expecting... well, something completely different. The title just screams 'Hallmark Channel Christmas movie,' right? Boy, was I wrong. I was hoping for some cute missionary accidentally falling in love with a rugged local while bringing cheer to a small village. What I got was... Jesuit priests, redemption arcs involving people dragging heavy things as penance, and like, zero flirting. I'm not kidding, not a single romantic subplot! I'm still processing. Liam Neeson's in it, though, and he's always a plus, even though he's, you know, being all serious and dramatic and NOT charming the pants off anyone. The scenery was BREATHTAKING, I'll give it that. Like, actually stunning. The Iguazu Falls shots? Forget about it. I almost forgot I was watching something not about two people destined to be together through a series of wacky mishaps. Robert De Niro's character... wow, what a transformation. From total jerk to... somewhat less of a jerk? I guess it's a solid 'character arc,' but I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? Like when he's gonna meet the sassy, independent local woman who's going to challenge his worldview... nope. Didn't happen. Honestly, the ending was a bit of a downer. I won't spoil it, but let's just say it wasn't exactly the fairytale ending I'm used to. I mean, did anyone even smile at the end of the film? I think not! I guess if you're into historical dramas with a heavy dose of guilt and redemption, this is your jam. Me? I'm going back to watching "27 Dresses" for the 100th time. At least Katherine Heigl gets her man. Though, I will say, Morricone's score was amazing, might add it to my 'crying alone in my apartment' playlist. Who knew 18th-century Jesuit drama could be kinda epic? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good serious movie as much as the next girl. But I was SO unprepared for this one. And I'm a little salty that it wasn't the cute, feel-good movie my brain was expecting. Also, can someone PLEASE explain to me the whole 'carrying the armor up the waterfall' thing? Was that, like, a metaphor? I'm kinda lost, tbh.