'The Golden Child'? More Like 'The Tarnished Memory'

Okay, alright, before you all grab your pitchforks, lemme say it: 'The Golden Child' is... fine. Just fine! I see so many people talk about this as some forgotten 80s gem, and I'm just sitting here scratching my head. It's got Eddie Murphy, sure, but even he feels like he's phoning it in for parts of it. Like, the script is SO all over the place. One minute it's a serious quest, the next it's slapstick comedy. The blending just DOESN'T work for me. And Sardo Numspa? Come on, Victor Wong was a great character actor but he's chewing SO MUCH scenery. He's just going over the top, there's no nuance, no real sense of dread. It's cartoonish, not scary. And don't even get me started on the demon creature thing at the end. That effect was BAD even for the 80s. It looks like something Jim Henson threw together on a lunch break gone wrong. I will say Kee's actress was decent. But she does kinda get brushed off as a character. I liked seeing Charles Dance in something other than playing a villain. He did have an interesting aura about him, but even he couldn't save this one. Look, I'm not saying it's terrible. There's some nostalgic fun to be had, and Eddie Murphy does have his moments, especially in the Chinese restaurant scene. But let's be real; it's nowhere near as good as people remember it being. It exists solely because of Murphy's stardom. It's a goofy, dated mess, and I'm tired of acting like it's some overlooked classic. Someone had to say it.