Nola Darling: Ahead of Her Time or Just...Selfish?

Okay, so I finally got around to watching Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have It" (the original, from '86) and WHEW. I feel like I need to unpack this for a while. I remember it being kinda scandalous when it first came out, and even now, it’s provocative. My husband walked in a few times and was like, "What ARE you watching?" LOL. But seriously, is Nola Darling a feminist icon, or is she kinda... a bad girlfriend to all three of those dudes? I'm torn. I mean, on the one hand, good for her for owning her sexuality and not letting society dictate what she should want. She's got control over her body. And she's so unapologetic about it! But then, you see how heartbroken Jamie is – especially that scene where he waits for her, only to realize she's probably with someone else – and you feel awful for him. He was a solid guy! And even Mars Blackmon, as annoying as he could be, genuinly cared about her. And Greer Childs was an pompous narcissist (sorry, but he was!) who did not consider her feelings, so I feel less bad for him. I'm not saying I agree with cheating or keeping people in the dark, but Nola's argument about freedom and choice did resonate with me on some level. It made me wonder, what are the unspoken rules of relationships, and who gets to make them? It's not a comfortable movie to watch, and maybe that's the point. What do you mommas think? I need to hear some other perspectives on this one! Also, is the modern remake any good? I'm almost afraid to watch it and have it ruin the original for me.