House II: Secretly Brilliant? (Okay, Hear Me Out)

Alright folks, scottscreens here. Let's talk House II: The Second Story. Yeah, I know, it's not exactly Citizen Kane. But I have a theory, and it's this: House II is secretly genius in its sheer, unadulterated goofiness. Like, 'Go ahead, try and make sense of this,' goofiness. Remember the pizza delivery guy showing up halfway through? "Two large pepperoni and extra anchovies!" Like, WHAT?! Who ordered pizza during a time-traveling zombie cowboy shootout? It's so absurd, it wraps back around to being brilliant. I'm prepared to die on this hill. My main thing is, the tonal whiplash is deliberate. It's not TRYING to be scary, it's TRYING to be FUN. Jesse coming to terms with his mummified great-great-grandpa, Gramps, who's also a freaking Aztec warrior? It's cartoon logic, and I think that's the point. It's not about jump scares; it's about embracing the weird. "We're all going to die!" Classic line, delivered perfectly. And let's not forget the Crystal Skull's world-hopping antics. One minute, you're in a prehistoric jungle, the next you're facing off against a creepy crawler in a closet. Maybe director Ethan Wiley (who remains somewhat of a mystery!) was just throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks. But I think there's a method to the madness. It's pure, unadulterated 80s fantasy-horror-comedy, and it doesn't care if you get it or not. "I've got something for you!"... and that something is a whole lot of bonkers. I think it deserves some credit for that. Maybe I'm just blinded by nostalgia? But I think there's a difference between something being "bad" and something being unapologetically, confidently WEIRD. And House II? Oh it's the latter. Now tell me I'm wrong! What lines stick with you?