Okay, "New York Stories"... More Like New York Story (singular?)

So I finally got around to watching "New York Stories." I know, I'm late to the party. Three directors, three short films, supposed to be about love and life in NYC, right? Honestly? It was… uneven. Like, VERY uneven. Scorsese's "Life Lessons" was the clear standout. Nick Nolte being a messy, tortured artist? Chef's kiss. Rosanna Arquette was believable as the frustrated muse. The tension was palpable, and the art was actually cool. It felt real, raw, and kinda sexy in a messed-up way. Then came the Coppola joint, "Life Without Zoë." Ugh. Just… ugh. It felt like a rich kid's fantasy of what New York is, not a slice of actual life. I get that it was supposed to be whimsical, but it just came off as pretentious and boring. Honestly, I almost turned it off. I was half-expecting the Olsen twins to pop out and sell me a handbag. Did anyone actually enjoy this one? Tell me I'm not alone. Woody Allen's "Oedipus Wrecks" was... well, it was Woody Allen. Neurotic, self-deprecating, and mildly amusing. I chuckled a few times, especially at the giant floating mother. But overall, it felt like vintage Woody, which, at this point, is predictable. Like, we get it, you have mommy issues. It's not groundbreaking. So yeah, one great short, one snoozefest, and one that's just… there. Worth watching for the Scorsese piece alone, maybe. But don't expect a masterpiece. I'd give it a solid B- overall – mostly thanks to Nick Nolte's paint-splattered shirt.