Okay, 'Total Recall' - Still messes with my HEAD!

Guys, I just re-watched Total Recall (the Schwarzenegger one, obvi) and I'm... still confused, but also like, REALLY affected. Seriously, did any of that actually happen? The whole time, I'm screaming at the screen, 'Is this real life? Is this just fantasy?' Like, when he pulls that tracking device out of his nose? GAG. Even knowing it's coming, it's so gross! But also, the desperation in his face when he's suddenly fighting for his life...Arnie actually sells it! I know he's known for being wooden sometimes, but in this, I actually felt his fear and confusion. And then Melina (Rachel Ticotin) shows up and suddenly he's fighting for Mars and... I don't know, I'm still so emotionally invested even though the plot leaves me scratching my head. Here's my question: that scene where he's in the chair at Recall, and they say he's having a "schizoid embolism" or something... did that start everything? Like, is everything AFTER that point just a mental break? It's eating at me! Someone please tell me their theories, I need to know if I'm the only one still thinking about this decades later. Is Kuato real?! I'm spiraling!